30.4.16

A chapter in your book.


I've erased you, I walked away with such disgrace. Humiliated,
I was left feeling disgusted with myself, I needed healing. I needed
to be far away, my thoughts and my body distract itself with my
career. When we met, I knew you needed fixing. I firmly believe
that everyone on this planet has a purpose. I wasn't sure why
we cross path. I looked at you and I knew I could never turn away.
Trying to switch off every feelings towards you, I've become a 
monster. I set my soul on fire, thinking after few years you would
be nothing but memories. We now speak a different language, we are
left with nothing in common. It makes my heart happy that you once
let me in, let me share your world with you. Even if it was just a 
moment in life. The funny part is that I thought it's over, I'm healed
but then I remembered. I dreamt about you, I start to reminiscing our
days. We used to crave each other.  In the beginning it was like floating. 
I was getting closer to you, we were connected. After months passed
by, I began to sink slowly. You were getting to every corner of my
life. You released your grasp immediately after I showed you my
world, everything we have started to fall apart. I wasn't the chosen
one. It is never easy, it is certain that we have no future together
but I can't help wondering if something could have happened 
between us if we met somewhere else or at different times in
our lives. I was too busy saving everyone that I forgot I needed
saving too, you saved me and I become dependent. When things ended
hideously,  I loathe myself for what had happened, for how we ended 
things. I couldn't forgive myself, I could only distract my thoughts.
I knew you could never forgive me, you must have hated me.
I couldn't find forgiveness and I'm know that I do not need your
forgiveness. I needed to forgive myself, to let go our story.
Someone told me that you are doing great, I'm sincerely happy
for you, for the both of you. I wish you a great journey.

To whom it my concern.