20.8.14

An open letter to whom it may concern.

To whom it may concern,
I guess I did all I could as a friend & as a lover.
It is exhausting to love someone with a harsh surrounding.
The ones who are hardest to love are usually the ones who
need it the most. To care so much which means to hurt as much.

I did not stop caring, I kept my promises still.
To pour all of my effort to maintain a healthy friendship &
relationship wasn't easy as we want it to be. I have no bad
intention but I couldn't stay as a friend or a lover. There is
no balance for me, I struggle with other's judgments even 
when all I did was give & love. Have you read or heard
something that killed you inside? Like a text message or 
someone's tweet. Everything was going fine until you 
accidentally came across something you didn't want to
read or found out. It is something you were better off 
knowing. It's almost as if it was posted or said just to 
purposely hurt you. Not anymore, I don't want to give
those people the power to break me, to ruin my self-esteem.

Please forgive me as I may seem selfish now, I have to be now. 
I can't empty myself just for anyone anymore, I need to love myself 
because no one else is going to understand myself more than I do.
 It is not that we couldn't be friends, you have a lot in your hands &
I have mine too. It doesn't matter who had it worst but we have
to deal with it, we deal with our struggles differently. I hope you 
train your mind to see the good in every situation. You're going to
lose people in your life & realize that no matter how much time you
spend with them or how much you appreciate them will never seem
like it was enough. I let people do what they need to do to make them
happy & I will do what I need to do to make myself happy. To those
friends that I've loved, I'm glad that I've been there for you even by 
secretly. I hope I heal you at some point of your life, I hope you are 
better off without me. To be honest, it will not be easy to distance myself 
from you but that is for the best right now. Until you have your life 
figured out, I will stay away from your surrounding. I'm only giving 
you what you need, giving them what they want & I want you to know that. 


Best wishes,
Your companion.