I think I'll just be happy. It's finally here!
Minimalist: a person who advocates or practices minimalism in art or music.
Coat: Wild Creature | Shoes: Wild Creature | Bag pack: Wild creature
Make up pouch: Factori | Nail polish: American Apparrel.
Sometimes I begin to compare myself to other people and feel bad cause
of how different we are as in where we want to be in life, but then I remind
myself that I was not given the same opportunities growing up and I've
faces disadvantages they never had to go through.
It's a constant struggle because not everyone has the same path and are at the
same starting line. Some have additional burdens to carry and hurdles to
overcome. But that's okay because when I finally accomplish my goals,
it's a huge middle finger and "fuck you" to those situations and people who
deliberately made life difficult for me.
Well hello there, it has been months without any personal updates.
First of all, I've got a new job and it is exhausting. I never knew
working with production could be weary. It has been two months
now, bruises and gaining experiences. Facing commotions balancing
career & social life. I think I've got the hang of it, I should by now.
I've never enjoyed having holiday but ever since I got occupied,
I try not to leave my bed. However, it is hard not to leave my bed
as adventure awaits. At the end of the day, your feet should be dirty,
your hair messy and your eyes sparkling.
The first one happened in the blink of an eye.
He ways all sunshine and butterflies fluttering in my stomach,
but I think he shined too brightly for me. People say I have the
most colourful mind and my smile could easily light up matches,
but the same people don't know about the shadowy hallways of my
heart and the hollow corners of my bones. We didn't fit and I didn't
want to be responsible for him flickering out into the darkness that
would've engulfed him if I had stayed. So I left and broke his heart
in the process. I haven't forgiven myself since.
The second was confusing. I still find myself trying to put the pieces
together but I can never really understand what happened. He was
misunderstood, dark and beautiful. He was like a lost child looking
for a tree to climb or a hill to roll down from and I was all forests and
mountains. He had his heart shut and no matter how long or hard I
knocked, I never got in. Time and distance got in the way, like they
always do and our story suddenly ended with a question mark.
The third is by far, the hardes t explain. I'm not even sure he was the
third one because I find him woven into all of them. There are traces
of him in everyone before and after him. Creating extremely tangled
webs inside of me that sometimes make it hard to breathe. I lost most
of myself with him, he was the most complicated but we worked. There's
this theory about people having more than one soulmate and if it's true,
he was one of mine. He hurt the most but he made me feel everything.
I think we could've been right for each other but he eventually saw me
as a burnt out star he no longer had the capacity to love. He was everything,
The fourth is impulsive. Our playlist was uniformed & we
want nothing but to be each other's company. There's no need for
commitment, we didn't have any label, we detest labels.
He often questions my point of views, his need to be aware of my
delights and caliginosity. I've always idolise him for that, for
making me feel bulletproof. Alas, I couldn't devote my time and that
discomfort him. He feels redundant towards me but he loves me
regardless. We'll go to bed knowing we'll wake up next to each
other in the morning.