My decision to focus on the good, rather than studying evil.

I do not love every aspect of the world.

I do not love how iniquitous people turn innocence into something so vile & I do not love how villainous people eradicate something that once was indestructible. 
I do not love how death is so popular & I do not love how elementary it is for criminals to escape their punishment.
I do not love how everything is discriminated against, even to the smallest number of years I’ve lived. I do not love how people are killed because of the shade of their skin, the body parts they have, the belief they hold onto & the age they are for no matter how we look or what we possess people can’t see that we are all still people.
I do not love how God is mocked and spit at on the daily yet have the same imitators worship abusers that put on a football jersey to mask their peccability.
I do not love how cat calling starts with the youth of the world because it is known that intimidating us is facile. I don’t love how some men are locked in the belief that cat calling is what emphasizes a woman’s strut. I don’t love how I’m maturing in a world where rape is turning into some ridiculous fashion.
I do not love waking up early in the morning and by law am required to do so. I do not love going to a place where everything I do is graded. My teachers grade me on how well I listen & take notes in class, my peers grade me by the way I dress, time grades me on how well I can use it, and stress grades me on how well I can handle it.
I do not love not having a lot of money. I don’t love not being able to eat there or shop here because the prices are beyond the likeliness of cheap. I don’t love talking to my friends about big sales and shopping trips and always being the one without any cash in my grip. I don’t love feeling alone.
I do not love how the world taught me to treat others, how physical beauty means that they automatically reign over those who lack physical grace. I do not love watching everyone bow on one knee to anyone with physical charm and not even bother to find their throne inside of them. I do not love how looks can get you famous. I do not love how fabulous talent is going unrecognized.
So, I do not love everything about this world because evil is surely taking over. But, no matter the amount of sin that exists there still roams plenty of pure & even though it’s hard to find, it absolutely still lives.
So, I love how My God is available at any time & no matter what I feel, no matter what I stress, I have someone to run to in a cry to rid pain immediately. I love how I am never alone thanks to him. I love how I can breathe again because of him.
I love how I love myself & I find pure euphoria in making a fool out of me. I love how I emphasize my goofiness when no other presence surrounds just to inspirit myself & I love how my singing voice cracks ridiculously when I go for Beyonce’s note. I love my heart that is filled with compassion and I love my mind that is filled with silly knowledge. I love the light that’s hidden within me & celebrating its glow that shines when I awake.
I love euphoric, happy go-lucky strangers of the city who smile at you as they pass you on the sidewalk, who anonymously let you know that not all earth is hell & we still have humans who are free of evil. 
I love how the world refuses to cease its twirl for the sake of all of us - its spin reminding us of how much time we have to make everything right, how much time we have to forgive & let go, how much time we have to truly live our lives, and how much time we have to restart all over again & make the next season in our lives a blessing.
I love how creative the world can be. With illegal graffiti spray painted on tedious walls & the choice of clothing we are free to style ourselves in, the world is one big Picasso. I love our creativity when we want to make someone smile & I love how each & every one of us are passionate about something glorious. I love how creativity has no definition & the world rushes to define it. 
I love how the youth is creating their own little generation. The “selfies” are ours, the style is ours, the music is ours, the influence is ours! Everything we do is ours! Just as our parents relish on the moments of where puffy hair was in & indie music was praised, now we have something to look back on. I love that, I love the idea. 
I love how the world is finally absorbing the fact that we need to take action. As a globe, watching it fall apart, I love seeing a lot of us taking charge. Whites standing up for blacks, men supporting feminism, the old guarding the young & the development of reaching out to other countries is becoming successful. I love watching us be a people & I love being a people. 
I’d rather emphasize on the things that are good because the world would simply be better if we talked about things we adored. Evil exists, bad things exist, sin exists & sinful people exist, too. But I’m too busy being focused on the good things in the world because if I’m going to live, I want to live with good.


Every one of us is precious in the cosmic perspective.

Well hello there, since new year is around the corner I've decided
to redecorate my room again. I've been looking & wanting a
glass terrarium but it's always overpriced. Finally got one & I'm
happy with it. I've been analysing my life throughout 2014 & I 
didn't expect to stand where I'm at right now. Here's some thoughts,
what I've learn so far, my lovely logics.

7 Lovely logics.

1) Make peace with your past so it doesn't spoil your present.

2) What other think about you is non of your business.

3) Time heals almost everything, give the time, some time.

4) Don't compare your life with other's, you have no idea what
their journey is all about.

5) No one is a reason of your happiness except yourself.

6) Stop thinking too much, its alright not to know all the answers.

7) Smile, you don't own all the problems of world.

Glass terrarium: Typo | Bulbs light: Typo | Pug LED: Typo
Frankie magazine: Snackfood | Candle: Diptyque | iPhone cover: Typo.

Till then, stay gold!


I'm the almost empty shampoo bottle in the shower of life.

Well hello there, I still couldn't get over the fact that it's already
November. We are getting older by days & I'm not feeling excited
about turning 21 years old in December. However, there are changes 
in my life. The thing about changes is that there's pros & cons, I'm
looking at the pros rather than cons. I've been happy recently, 
I've been adventurous & loved by those who standby me. I respect
myself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves me,
grows me or make me happy. To do what's right but isn't fair & what's
fair isn't right was difficult. In the madness of the hurricane, the centre 
is completely still. 

10 updates.

1) I lost my grandfather in October. 

2) Had an amazing road trip with my girlfriend to Johor 
& Singapore last month.

3) Develop love for french bulldog.

4) Crystal fighters favourited one of my tweet.

5) Having 'Habits' (stay high) by Tove Lo on the repeat.

6) My halloween costume was tragic car accident face & minnie mouse.

7) Got bitten by leeches during jungle tracking.

8) Board games every Saturday night with love ones.

9) Celebrated one of my girlfriend birthday with vain selfies.

10) Tomorrow is my mother's birthday.

Cardigan: H&M | Bag: Chanel | Clutch: Zara | Towel: Typoshop
Accessories: Lovisa | Laptop Stickers: Singapore underground scape.

Till then, stay gold!


My kind of weather.

There's thunders, the wind are strong. It could push you away, 
symbolic enough as if god washing the wrongs & the sins we made.
The beauty of heavy rain, some plants are lucky & some are destroyed.

Wind breaker: H&M | Temporary tattoos: Wild creatures | Shoes: Topshop


Sometimes we love who we could.

Well hello there, I hope September has been good for you so far.
It has been a roller coster year for me but I'm better. I've always 
wanted to try Life juice co @1utama & it is amazing how you can
enjoy your cold pressed juice up to 3 days after extraction. It's vitamins,
enzymes, trace minerals & overal nutrients up to five times more than 
any other juicer.

On the other hand, I've finally got my copy of Lullabies beautifully written
by Lang Leav during my last visit to Singapore. All I could feel, all the words
I couldn't say & I could relate to the book. I hope that someday I could meet 
the author herself, it must be a hell of a journey to feel & express those words.

Till then, stay gold!


20 facts about me.

Hello there, notice 20 facts about me has been a trend lately? 
I didn't want to do it because I've done 50 facts about me but 
since I was tagged my many, I decided to go ahead & post it.

1) Mad about Skyline.

2) I get excited whenever I see Nisaan GTR. R34 or R35,
I'll scream my heart out. It's embarrassing!

3) I hardly sleep.

4) I can drink 10 tequila shots without dropping.

5) I shower 4-6 times a day.

6) I hate going to the cinema.

7) I worship Sailormoon & Tuxedo mask.

8) I have three cats & two dogs.

9) Obsessed with my cats.

10) I've listend to Not in that way by Sam Smith 560 times on my iTunes.

11) I like sandwich, it is simple as that.

12) Long neck turns me on.

13) This 20 facts about me is making me sleepy.

14) I don't have snap chat!

15) I want the one I can't have.

16) I wish heaven had a visiting hour.

17) I miss Derek most of the time.

18) Bloody sarcastic/annoying.

19) I would usually say my weakness is no weakness, it's
a Sagittarius thing.

20) Bonus? click here!

Thanks to Isabelle, Tebby, Yulyx, Feeqah & the others who tagged me.
Now, I'm going to tag Julian Ting (my sister's boyfriend), Daphne Charice,
Al Jeffrey, Edrian Ong & Josephine Yap.

Till then stay gold!.


Issue 61

Hello there, I just got back from Singapore & got myself Frankie's
latest issue. I'm spending my afternoon reading with my lovely cats.

Till then, stay gold!


An open letter to whom it may concern.

To whom it may concern,
I guess I did all I could as a friend & as a lover.
It is exhausting to love someone with a harsh surrounding.
The ones who are hardest to love are usually the ones who
need it the most. To care so much which means to hurt as much.

I did not stop caring, I kept my promises still.
To pour all of my effort to maintain a healthy friendship &
relationship wasn't easy as we want it to be. I have no bad
intention but I couldn't stay as a friend or a lover. There is
no balance for me, I struggle with other's judgments even 
when all I did was give & love. Have you read or heard
something that killed you inside? Like a text message or 
someone's tweet. Everything was going fine until you 
accidentally came across something you didn't want to
read or found out. It is something you were better off 
knowing. It's almost as if it was posted or said just to 
purposely hurt you. Not anymore, I don't want to give
those people the power to break me, to ruin my self-esteem.

Please forgive me as I may seem selfish now, I have to be now. 
I can't empty myself just for anyone anymore, I need to love myself 
because no one else is going to understand myself more than I do.
 It is not that we couldn't be friends, you have a lot in your hands &
I have mine too. It doesn't matter who had it worst but we have
to deal with it, we deal with our struggles differently. I hope you 
train your mind to see the good in every situation. You're going to
lose people in your life & realize that no matter how much time you
spend with them or how much you appreciate them will never seem
like it was enough. I let people do what they need to do to make them
happy & I will do what I need to do to make myself happy. To those
friends that I've loved, I'm glad that I've been there for you even by 
secretly. I hope I heal you at some point of your life, I hope you are 
better off without me. To be honest, it will not be easy to distance myself 
from you but that is for the best right now. Until you have your life 
figured out, I will stay away from your surrounding. I'm only giving 
you what you need, giving them what they want & I want you to know that. 

Best wishes,
Your companion.


Love & Misadventure.

Well hello there, I finally got my copy of Love & Misadventure
by Lang Leav. Lang Leav is a poet & internationally exhibiting 
artist. Her writing expresses the intricacies of love & loss. Lucky?
I guess so, she retweeted & tweeted me yesterday! Besides that, 
I'm in love with the illustrations & I can't wait for Lullabies. 

Till then, stay gold!



Hello there, remember my previous blog post about Ash & Lion? 
Lion got pregnant & I want you to meet Kitty. 5 months old kitten 
which will soon be my mother's companion. Isn't she adorable?

At the moment, I'm trying to escape from my unhealthy lifestyle.
I'm trying to blog more often, I started reading again. I'm hooked
with 'If you stay' beautifully written by Gayle Forman. I was on
Tumblr & a friend from Tumblr recommended such a heart warming
book. I guess it is my way of healing, an escape from tensions.

If I stay: A young adult novel published in 2009. Follows by 17 years
old Mia as she deals with the aftermath of a catastrophic car accident 
involving her family. In a coma, Mia has an out of boy experience 
where she watches as friends & family gather in the hospital where is
being treated. She watches as her memories flash before her eyes as 
she comes to realize that she must decide if she is to wake up & lead
a life far more difficult than she ever anticipated or to slip away & die.

If I stay film will be release on August 22, 2014 (USA)

Click here & here to see more Kitty in actions.

#nowplaying: Salvation & Say something.

Till then, stay gold!


Before the fall.

Hello there, here's playlist for you. 

Till then, stay gold!


True happiness is giving it away.

Hello there, I finally caught up with Frankie magazine thanks to 
I love snack food. There's a bonus, you'll receive 'The Recital' 
print set free for every purchase! On the other hand, I'm obsessed
with personalized name necklace. As you can see, the Carrie diaries
in me wants to shine & thanks to H&M for making it easier. The
last time I personalized a necklace, it took them a month & patience
is what I'm lack of. 

Define true happiness?
Happiness comes from everywhere & everyone. When you question
someone about their definition of happiness, there is no right or wrong
answer but it could be selfish. True happiness could be laying next to 
your love one, walking down the hill feeling the air caressing your hair,
having your family reunion, meeting someone after separated by distances
& it goes one. For me, true happiness is when the people I love are smiling
in the inside & outside. Putting a smile or laugh on everyone faces is 
what I like to do & it's also what makes my day. You'll have true happiness,
true fulfillment when you live to give, not to get. Loving & caring is tiring.
True happiness comes from within yourself not from someone else, stop 
searching from others to feel happy & start living. Sometimes it bothers 
me how having a soft heart in a cruel world seems like a weakness but
I know that I'm wrong. To love someone who couldn't love you or as
much as you love them is such a blessed thing, is courage. The person I
care for couldn't be next to me, he couldn't see me like how I see him.
The feeling isn't mutual but it doesn't stop me from being there when he
is down or alone. I'll do whatever it takes, even if it means being without
him. If he fit better within the arms of another, that would be fine. I hope
he find someone that can make him happy as I wish I could. When you lift
someone else up, you lift yourself up. You have nothing to lose for sacrificing,
for the charity & selflessness. I'm one of those people who seems tough but
always soft for those I cherish, it troubles me at times but that is love. You 
could come knocking on my door five years from now & I would open my 
arms winder & say "Come here, it's been too long". So what is my definition
of true happiness? Sacrificing for my family, for the man I love & my friends.
I would give till I had nothing, less is always more. Those people we love, 
the are meant to cross our path for a reason. Not everything we love would 
love us back, life doesn't always work the way we want it be.

Till then, stay gold!

Frankie magazine: I love snack food | Necklace: H&M



Something for Summer, thank you mother for the earrings.


8 things I'm trying very hard to accept.

1. Your skins may never be perfect & that's okay.

2. Life is too short not have the car, the shoes, the clothes
& the hair colour you want.

3. Everyone (including your family, your coworkers & your best friend)
will talk about you behind your back & you'll talk about them too. It doesn't 
mean you don't love each other.

4. People are not medicine, people are able to walk away from you.

5. You can easily be forgotten.

6. It's okay to spend money on things that make you happy.

7. Sometimes without fault or reason, relationships deteriorate. It will
happen when you're six, it will happen when you're sixty. That's life.

8. Sometimes the people you love couldn't love you back.



Alexa for eyeko.

I'm not a big fan of eyeliners. I'm bad at applying & balancing.
With my droopy eyelids, applying eyeliner would give me a
smudgy effect after a little while. Fortunately with the new
Alexa Chung for Eyeko eyeliner, it gives me a reason to begin
applying eyeliner once more. It is suitable for those who
struggle most of the time. Plus, it'll stay perfectly in place even at
all times; even after you accidentally rub your eyes. Technically,
it is just the same as any marker you would use when writing
but this one is specifically for you to be creative on your eyes.
Made easy indeed.

Till then, stay gold!


When our world was in black & white everything seemed to be simple.

Oh hello there, I finally got myself a white Cheap Monday crinkle
PU roll over clutch bag/sling. I've been listening to Emphasize by
Sleeping at last. I don't feel like going out lately, I'm being such a 
grandma & I like it. 

For those who matter.
Whatever purifies you is the right path. I realised that you weren't the
one who wrecked me, ruined me or destroyed me. It was me because only 
I have the power to do that to myself. I destroyed myself by loving you.
I want to explain how exhausted I am, even in my dreams. How I wake
up tired, how I'm being frowned by some kind of black wave.

Till then, stay gold!


My favourite lush products!

One of my most favourite brand would be Lush.
Here is my most used products from Lush!

Body: My favorite lotion for moisture would be Karma Kream. I couldn't
get enough of the smell. A gentle hand & body cream to nourish skins &
perfume it with orange, patchouli & pine for a scent that lasts all day. It's loaded
with almond oil, cocoa butter & glycerine to leave skin supple & positively glowing.

Hair: For my hair, I'm using Roots for healthy & clean scalp. The root to great hair
starts at the scalp. Using mint in three different ways to stimulate the scalp & hair follicles.
Conditioning & strengthening extra virgin olive oil, honey & balancing nettle. My second
favourite hair product from Lush would be H'Suan Wen Hua. Full of protein, nourishing
ingredients to revive your hair & improve its condition. 

Face: Honestly, I love it all especially Ocean Salt.
Ocean salt it's a good curbs. Limes steeped in vodka, grapefruit & lashings of salt go 
into this invigorating face & body scrub now in a self preserving formula.

Till then, stay gold!