How to Overcome Emotional Numbness.

Emotional numbness is where we experience mild to severe feelings of detachment. So it’s hard for us to access normal feelings any more. This includes both negative & positive emotions as you can’t decide to shut just one feeling off. Common causes of emotional numbness include different stresses or traumas from receiving bad new to being in an accident to recovering from the death of someone close to a relationship breakup to feeling deeply humiliated or ashamed. So how do you overcome emotional numbness and live with emotional integrity again?
1. The first thing to do is to choose to respect & allow all emotions. No matter what they are. Also, try & grasp the fact that suppressing your emotions will likely lead to heartache & problems later on (as they’ll possibly resurface at inappropriate times.)
2. Try & understand that feelings and actions are two very different, & unrelated, things.  That is, you can still feel angry without becoming violent so don’t assume your feelings will affect your actions.
3. Try to figure out the message behind intense emotions. Are you angry because you’ve been hurt, used or abused? Are you sad because deep down you feel that you’ll never find true love. As you can’t believe that anyone will love you for yourself?
4. Take that risk & find the courage to ask someone for help. If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll know that there are those who genuinely love you like a true & caring friend. The important thing is not to try & isolate yourself. Make the extra effort to prioritise self-care. You need other people to help you work through this.
5. Seek professional help if the symptoms persist. There are excellent counsellors & therapists out there who have the training & skills to help you to get free. You can live a more fulfilling & normal, healthy life.
6. Be patient within yourself. It’s likely to take time as you will need to learn to trust & take some barriers down, so you can be yourself again (and that is often hard to do when you’ve experience hurt & pain). 


Workspace tour & great news.

Hello there, miss me yet? I've been so busy that I've neglected my blog.
I fell sick more often lately, god knows why. However, I'm ready to
give out more details on my workspace. As some of you know, I have
a mini studio for personal work use. (applause) Feast your eyes!

Besides that, I have a great news. Remember when I photographed for 
F.Timber & Nichi's handbags? look out for F.Timber & Nichi's ads
on the newspaper photographed by me. I'm not so sure when but I'll 
definitely update you on what newspapers & date.

Til then, stay gold!


Practical advice for difficult women.


It is always awkward when someone asks me for relationship advices.
Obviously I'm shit at relationship & I'm not afraid to admit it. There's
so many difficult women out there & I'm one of them. 

1) There will come a time when you want to cut off all your hair, do it.
Realise that the thing you want to get rid of doesn't lie in the long curls
that frames your face so perfectly. Live with short hair for a while. It will
still grow, just like life. It goes on.

2) You won't always want to talk to people. That's okay, when it's late &
you hear your friends or see your friends talking online, you don't have to
join them. You're allowed to isolate yourself, sometimes it's just sweeter &
it teaches you how to survive alone. You will need that skill.

3) At times, you will believe that nothing will ever grow again. You're
wrong. Every year, London looks like it's on its last legs, wheezing through
those cold days in March. Every year, spring comes like an explosion & the 
city shakes off its sleep.

4) Mundane problems will get the better of you sometimes, don't worry. Try
as you might, life can't be an endless, beautiful, intense moment. Find comfort 
in money worries & late trains; they're welcome rest in between heartbreaks &

5) People will call you a cynic, a wry smile on their faces. Pay them no mind.
You alone know that you are capable of a love greater than anything they can
comprehend. You alone know that you are not willing to sell your identity &
respect to the first smirking halfwit to pass by. It is not cynicism, it is reverence
for your own vast & fathomless heart. It makes sense only to love someone
who understands that & is awed by it.

6) You will not always get what you want or who you want, accept it. Your goals
are not set in stone & you are not on a fixed trajectory. Sometimes, life will take
its time & you will have to play the long, interminable game. Play it well & with
as much grace you can muster. Love at your own pace.

7) At night, you will occasionally wake up afraid, wanting to die. Having a great
fear of being alone & having a desperate need for solitude. That's always been a
tug of war for me. Don't give in, night plays its tricks, but you are not so easily
fooled. Your mind will play its tricks, it will make you believe that you're not who
you are, you are not good enough to be loved & you must not give in. You take
a breath & you tell yourself that you are here, that you always were.

8) Don't rush into a relationships, it will never end well. Unless, you are the 
exception. If a guy wants you, he will make it happen. Love isn't a game, you
are not an option. If your crush doesn't love for you for who you are, they are at
lost. Remember that you are difficult because you are fragile, you've seen enough
romance goes down the hill & die under the deep sea. You care & that's beautiful.

9) If you are in a relationship, stop worrying about your men. If your men
loves you, he will make everything happen for you. You are the only one.
Most people worry about being not enough, ended up not being enough because
their start to believe that the other half is good not enough & the relationship is
good not enough. 

10) Lower down your expectations when it comes to all men. They are suppose
to surprise you with their effort. When you expect too much, you are only going 
to be disappointed. This will trigger all arguments, men doesn't like argument
 especially when it happens all the time. Remember that men are bad at sugar 
coating words, they are bad at saying sorry or saying what's on their mind.
That makes them a man, that is what makes them a male. That doesn't mean
they don't care or love you. Stop doubting them trust your relationship.

11) Stop comparing yourself, you are unique & beautiful in your own way.
You shouldn't be compared with others; you makes you, you. If someone can love
you through your skin, that is love. Cherish that!

Till then, stay gold! 


Come, let us have some tea.

Kusmi Tea would be one of my favourite tea. The company, which
produces Russian style tea & tea blends was established by Pavel
Michailovitch Kousmichoff (1840-1908)

How to have a lovely day.

First of all, I'm madly in love with my Cath Kidston mugs. I don't think 
I can start my day without a cup of good tea or coffee. A good tea or coffee
is good for your soul. I like to take a long nice shower & wear something that 
makes me feel good. When I don't feel like leaving the house, I would watch
a really good movie. I would What's app or tweet someone, hinting them that
they are on my mind. I smile a lot, I read poems or books & get really into it.
Candles are a must, I will never fail to light a nice smelling candle. Environment 
is very important to me, I need my space to be sorted out. I could sit for ten
minutes in silence & stare at my studio or bedroom. Its good for your mental
health. Never ever underestimate music, listen to a good song that fits for the
weather or mood. Music could change your day, music helps me. I would eat
 dessert first, grab my spoon & eat yummy red velvet ice cream. Have a chat 
with your pet, they are your best companion. I talk to my cats & dogs all the 
time. (loner alert) If I feel lonely, I hug my family or my favourite pillow.
Realise that whatever problem I have is only temporary. I would watch 
something that makes me laugh & try to forget whatever is bothering me.

Until then, stay gold!


How to talk to cats.

Teaching your cat simple commands like "Down!" & "NO!" will make
him or her a better pet, while words like "Treats!" & "Dinner!" will help
them associate you with something pleasurable. Cats rarely vocalize with
other cats. They reserve verbal interaction with humans. Feline language 
is a complex mix of facial expression, tail position, ear position & other
forms of body language in addition to scent & sound. Cat learn to make
demands of us by observing which of their sounds cause which human
responses. As for me, I speak to my cats everyday. To prove the theory
above, I did my own little research with my friend's cat. Meet Lion
 (pictures above) my friend wants to marry her female cat with my male cat.
It took her about 2-3 days to adapt the change of environment. To make
her feels like home, I would have to understand her needs.

Understanding your cat.
Some cats are vocal & have extensive vocabularies. Other cats scarily
speak at all or have a one size fits all meow that covers all the bases.

Vocalizations which are fairly common to most cats.

1) Short meow: "Hey, how are you doing"

2) Multiple meows: " I'm so happy to see you, where've you been?"

3) Mid pitch meow: A plea for something, usually dinner or treats.

4) Drawn out meow: "I'm upset, I'm hungry you idiot!"

5) Low pitched meow: "You're so lame, your service sucks" (complaints)

6) High pitch meow: " I'm freaking angry you stupid human"

7) Purr: "I like you, I feel good & safe"

8) Hiss: "Steer clear. I'm pissed & I'm not afraid to draw blood"

Most cats use the following gesture to communicate.

1) Tail straight up or with a curl at the end: Happy.

2) Tail twitching: Excited or anxious.

3) Tail vibrating: Very excited to see you.

4) Tail fur sticks straight up while the tail curls in shape of an N: Aggression.

5) Tail fur sticks straight up but the tail is held low: Aggression or frightened.

6) Tail held low & tucked under the rear: Frightened. 

7) Dilated pupils: Very playful or excited. It can also indicate aggression.

8) Slowly blinking eyes: Affection, the equivalent of blowing a kiss.

9) Ears pinned back: Fear, anxiety or aggression.

10) Tongue flicking: Worry.

11) Rubbing head, flank & tails against a person or animal: Greeting.

12) Head butting: Friendliness & affection.

13) Face sniffing: Confirming identity.

14) Wet nose kiss: Kissing.

15) Licking: Affection, your cats are comfy with you.

Last but not least, here's a few tips to steal your cats heart. Always be the one who
serve your cats food or treats. Play with your cats ear or nose. Believe me that 
you & your cats are closer than ever.

Till then, stay gold.


Single awareness day.

Hello there, most of you know that Valentine's day is around the corner.
Decorations, tweets & tumblr post can be really annoying. There's no 
escaping & I know some of you out there are dating Pizzas. Just because
you are single doesn't mean you should abandon yourself, love yourself.
As for me, I'm treating myself with Laduree. Nothing can go wrong!
Yes, treat yourself! You deserve to be loved. How to treat yourself?

1. Make sure you own a nice bed.

2. Stay in bed, remember how nice it feels to flip over your pillow
to the cooler side.

3. Check your pulse & hum along to the rhythm because it is music.

4. Go out with your girlfriends. Shop, drink coffee or go dancing.

5. If you can, do not shut people out. You will have good days & they
should see them.

6. If your girlfriends are all busy with their dates & you feel overwhelmed;
scream. Have your own little adventure, take a walk, take a drive. 
Go out & see the little things.

7. Have a nice bubble bath, paint your nails & what ever makes you feel
beautiful. Dress up, put on make up & smile. Do it for yourself.

8. Have a movie or tv series marathon, there's so many tv shows to catch up 
& discover.

9. Treat yourself with something sweet. Macaroons, ice cream & so on.

Till then, stay gold!


If you keep your option open, there are places you could go.

January 23th before Lunar new year, I was away for a little while with
my friends on a road trip to Malacca. Trust me when I say that I wanted 
to blog more details but I was having so much fun that it is ridiculous
to be handling camera all the time to document everything that we do. 
I had so much fun that I couldn't thank my friends enough for inviting.
However, I'm still sharing a few bits of Malacca town above with you.

Till then, stay gold.


Go outside they said.

It's a nice sunny new year they said. I will give no excuse about not
being able to update my blog anymore. Clearly I've been running 
around doing absolutely everything that I could & when I'm back
at home I'm either exhausted or lazy. To be honest, I have plenty of
blog post to share but I couldn't set my mood to blog.

However, I will soon blog about my 2014 Lush haul! Yes, Malacca
road trip photographs as well. (as promise) Oh check out my new training
shoes from Adidas, I got it in Malacca during the holiday with my friends.

Till then, stay gold!


I'm so naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Hello there, I apologise for the lack of updates. First of all, I am
back home. I am not feeling well, I got sick during the road trip.
Nothing serious, just coughing & sore throat. I've been so busy having 
fun that I've forgotten about my blog. However, stay tune for my road 
trip blog post. Till then, stay gold!


To me this is inspirations.

Photos from Tumblr.

PS: I will be away for a couple of days with my peers again. This is very exciting,
our road trip will begin tomorrow. We are going on an adventure, living the life.
Till then, stay tune & gold!


To go to hair products.

Oh hey there, I fell like I've been absolutely shit at keeping you
guys updated. Sharing is caring! Back then, I often bleach my hair.
If I am not mistaken, I've bleach more than 10 times. Imagine the
damage my hair was in a terrible condition. Dried, frizzy & nothing
could be done except copping it all off. (This is what happens when
you decide to dye your whole head blue, purple, green, red etc.)

I got exhausted & annoyed with my poor hair. I stop colouring my
hair; no more chemicals. After a year, my hair stylist Clairine who
has been taking care of my hair for about 10 years told me that she
wants to cut my hair short, shoulder length short. I said yes, do it! Right
after she copped it off, I felt so much better & happier. My hair got
so much better. I would do treatments 3 to 4 times in a month to make
sure that my hair is healthy. After months, I decided to give Number
76 Style Hair Salon in Bangsar a try for a hair trim & a treatment. Guess what?
Yoshi-san told me that my hair is the worst & most damaged hair he had 
ever seen. It didn't matter because he took care of my hair; he gave me a
make over. Ever since that, Yoshi is the only person who could cut my
hair. Ultrasonic treatment helped my hair a lot, my hair got softer, smoother
& healthier. Believe me that I am not exaggerating. All it takes are 4 steps.
Ever since that, I would visit number76style hair salon more often for
Ultrasonic treatments. I recently received few questions on ask.fm about
my hair & the products I am using. One of my favourite products is the Milbon 
Deesse's hair mask, weekly home care repairs peeled off top coat which smells
like grapefruit & rose. My second favourite product would be the Moroccan oil;
my hair savior. These products has changed my life.

Till then, stay gold!


Vinyl makes a comeback.

As some of you know, I am head over heels when it comes to vinyl.
Vinyl records almost disappeared after CDs were introduced, but 
they're making a comeback. I would travel from town to town 
searching for vinyls, it doesn't have to be vintage. Recently someone
asked me a question on Tumblr 'How many vinyl records do you own now?'
To be honest, not much as it is very hard to find vinyl with good songs 
or shall I say my cup of tea. To answer the question, I have 16 vinyl records.

'Name the vinyl records?'

1) Lana del rey- Born to die

2) Birdy- Skinny love

3) Birdy- Fire within

4) Hurts- Stay

5) kodaline- In a perfect world

6) Of monsters and men- My head is an animal

7) Florance + the marchine- Ceremonials

8) The xx- Coexist 

9) The Luminers

10) Daughter- If you leave

11) Foster the people- Torches

12) She & Him- Volume two

13) Chvrches- The bone of what you believe

14) Mumford & Sons- Babel

15) Vampire weekend- Contra

16) Paramore- deluxe 7

If you would like to recommend any vinyl store or vinyl records for
me to check out (click here) Not to forget that I will create another playlist
 to share with you as requested but till then, stay gold!

Song of the day.


Changes, we have another workspace.

Recently, I've been busy setting up my very own personal workspace/studio.
Remember back in 2012 when someone decided to sponsored me a studio?
the studio is no longer available. Since I don't have a studio anymore, I wanted 
to rent a place where I could setup my very own equipments but then again the 
workspace/studio has to be convenience & nearby where I could easily travel.

Before the new year, I was going through few of my favourite Youtubers's
videos & they gave me an excellent idea. They have a set up studio/workspace 
at home where is it convenience & it wouldn't cost any extra wages. The situation
was perfect, I seldom have an indoor photoshoot & my living room upstairs is
free. Since nobody is using the space, I took the opportunity to clean up & setup
my camera equipments. I even got a mini fridge, who said you can't be with your
true love? My true love is always beside me on the right while I am busy editing 
photographs. Feast your eyes, the aftermath of my workspace/studio.

Till then, stay gold!


My motto is to go wild on the accessories.

Eye ring: Singapore underground Urbanscape | J&D middy ring: Ellui
Feather ear cuff: H&M | Archery arrow bracelet: vintage from Brighton
Mortal instruments pendant: Vintage 1988 | Others: Diva.

I have decided to wear more accessories & therefore I went for a
middy ring hunt yesterday at Sunway Pyramid. However, nothing
seems to catch my attention. Stopped by Vintage 1988 & got myself
a pure brass mortal instruments inspired pendant. At the end of the
day, I ended up buying two of Ellui's middy ring with an alphabet.
It is so ridiculous how hard to find beautiful accessories in Malaysia.
If you own an accessories store or know one, do share it with me!
(click here to share) I'd love to check it out, review & be gold.

Till then, stay gold!