Well hello there! First of all, say goodbye to my old laptop case.
I will definitely miss all the stickers. I've been eyeing on marble
casing for quite sometime now, I've grown fond towards minimalist.
Till then, stay gold!
Well hello there, as you all know I'm not as active I used to be on
Tumblr. However, I do read my readers questions. I apologise for
not able to answer. I'll be honest with you, some of the questions
are very personal & annoying but I'll do my best to clear your
curiosity. Before I start answering all the questions, I would like
to say thank you to those who still follow up with my social media
sites. I'm so grateful & I can't describe how amazed I am.
1. What is your occupation/what do you do for living?
- At the moment, I'm a full time assistant photographer. I feel the
need to learn & to understand the concept of being a professional
photographer. I want to gain more experience before I could actually
be a professional photographer. On the other hand, I'm a part time
freelance fashion photographer. Well, I believe that there's no point
learning if you don't go out & make it happen.
2. How hard is photography industry?
- I get this questions a lot from my readers, friends & family.
People assume this industry is all glamorous & glitters but it
is not. It is true that you get to be on set with celebrities, amazing
people who creates art everyday & you get to watch the magic happen.
What you didn't know is that our working hours are insane, we spent more
than 12 hours on set at work. We don't get enough rest, we are always
rushing to freeze the moment. As an assistant, I deal with heavy weight
equipments or setup everyday. It's always a sweat day, I could say it's
a workout. I don't get much time to spend with my family & friends.
I've lost friends, I've lost the people I care about for this career.
The good thing about this industry is that it teaches you to stay strong,
you gain everyday knowledge, you'll meet new people, you'll make
a hell out of memories & experiences.
3. How's your income/how do you earn?
- I'm not a top notch blogger or photographer but I do earn from it.
Being an assistant, the pay isn't that much. I wouldn't want to be
an assistant in 6 years down the row, I have dreams & I want to be
better. I'm afraid of not being able to expend myself, to push myself.
I would say that my income could pay off my car, keep me away from
starving & support my lifestyle. As we all know, I like expensive
shits & therefore, I have to earn.
4. How do you keep your dreams alive?
- There are times I would cry my eyes out while driving. Remembering
that I gave up on photography for about two years. I never thought that
I would get back in this industry & when I got back into photography,
the struggle to climb almost kill my lights. There are so many people
who wants to be a photographer, to be recognise isn't a piece of cake.
Always hungry for chances, the amount of stress & heartache.
The competition is a harsh reality but I couldn't let that stop me.
A well known photographer once told me that if I don't go out & give
my best shot how will I know. It will always be 'what if'. He told me
that I have what it takes, a calm sea never make a good sailer. I've
met so many people on earth to prove wrong & there are people
who have always supported me to be proud of me. My dreams
are a part of me, you take away my dreams & I'm dead.
5. Will you continue your studies?
- I would love to return to England, to pick up what I couldn't finish
back then. If I was given the opportunity to continue my studies,
I wouldn't say no but for now, my family situation wouldn't allow
me. I have responsibility to take care of & I'm okay with it.
6. Where do you see yourself in five years?
- I don't know, we could plan so much & it wouldn't turn out as planned.
I know that cause I'm a planner & honestly life is so completely
different than what I have in mind or set back then. Although
there's up & down, I wouldn't stray too far from art.
That's it for now,
Till then, stay gold!
Well hello there, fall is around the corner & I've not update my where
about. Let's talk about moving forward. It irritates me how much I
don't update my blog anymore, I'm slowly slipping away from my
readers. Turning twenty two this year creeps the hell out of me, I'm
getting older by day & this is the age where you either find yourself or
lose yourself in the process of growing. Believe me that I'm trying to
be a better person every single day, most of the time focusing on my
career. I could say that I'm the worst friend to have right now, the
amount of events I've missed & there are times I couldn't be there
for the people I care about. The thing is that my career takes out
most of my time, I spend more than 12 hours at work, doing something
I'm very passionate about. I could say that my lifestyle has change,
when you do something you love, is it no longer a job. I've become
committed but to balance with my personal life, it got tougher. My
priority is different now, is it funny how this year is so much different
compared to last year. People assume that my lifestyle is fabulous,
glamorous but it is not. There are days I want to fall on my face
& stay on the floor. Feeling so low, that I didn't achieve as much
as I could at my age. To get chances to prove that I'm
more than what they see, I'm worth more than what they offer.
I'm the type of person who thinks that good is never enough, why do
I have to settle for the less when I know, I deserve better & I can do better.
Someone told me the reason I don't feel I'm good enough is because
I don't realise I'm more successful than I think I am. Self love is very
important, it is not about pleasing them, it is to live your life &
how you want your life to be. This is my journey, I'm eager to thrive
for a better future.
Pouch: 3CE | Terrarium glass: Typo shop.
Till then, stay gold!
First of all, I'm missing Brighton. I miss my friends, my 207 room.
The fact that I dislike my working environment is making life less
interesting. It's hard when you love your job but you dislike the
people, an unnecessary environment. I don't get why people wants
you to feel small, to feel like you don't exist or you don't matter.
However, I'm thankful to those who actually fought for me to stay.
Put the bullies aside. Stand tall, work hard & be professional.
I've held this back for a while now because I didn't want to be told that I was
over exaggerating, complaining or have no reason to be upset.
I've always supported people no matter weight, race,
religion or gender. However, I couldn't stand the way men underestimate
women. It's true, women can be sensitive and some of us are not strong.
It disgusted me when men go around saying women can't do anything
against a man. Being a female, I'm always being compared to men
and if I'm being rough or tough to get things done, they called me
bossy or a bitch. As a young adult turning twenty two, I struggle a lot with
sexism. There are days, I wish I was born with a penis. Nobody deserves to be
discriminated against for their gender. I understand that I'm young,
I've so much to learn but, I've always respect those who are older and wiser.
I try to learn from their experience but being disrespected because of my gender and
age is absurd. I got very upset and I did not speak for my right. I didn't even try to
contribute suggestions or ideas because to them, I'm young and naive as if my
feelings doesn't matter or I don't understand. There are always people who
would go against me, I could not waste any of my time arguing with such mentality.
At this moment, I've been given an opportunity to proof to myself and everyone
who had made my life difficult wrong. I'd rather be underestimated than
overestimated because if you're underestimated, you never disappoint but it
you're overestimated, you always disappoint. On the other hand, all the hard time
I've been through taught me one of the greatest satisfactions in my life is when
people underestimate me.
Till then, stay gold! #fucksexism #fuckyourmentality #fuckyourdirtypolitics.
First of all, there is no such things as enough sleep for me anymore.
I'm either at work trying to prove myself wrong or wandering
around balancing social life & my alone time. I've realised that
I will need to travel 78km everyday to get & come back from
work. Disheartened by working culture & politics. I'm convincing
myself that it will be over soon.
Recently, I'm into long & oversized coats. I never noticed how
good they look with sneakers. When I found out that Monki is
collaborating with Lynnie Zulu, it took me less than 24 hours to
get my hands on Nickie tee. So much love for the Summer
collaboration. It's true, most of my clothes in the wardrobe are black
in colour. Unless the clothes that I like doesn't come in black, then
I would have to pick grey or white. Same goes to shoes.
Bagpack: Wild creature | Long Coat: Monki.
Till then, stay gold!
Minimalist: a person who advocates or practices minimalism in art or music.
Coat: Wild Creature | Shoes: Wild Creature | Bag pack: Wild creature
Make up pouch: Factori | Nail polish: American Apparrel.
Sometimes I begin to compare myself to other people and feel bad cause
of how different we are as in where we want to be in life, but then I remind
myself that I was not given the same opportunities growing up and I've
faces disadvantages they never had to go through.
It's a constant struggle because not everyone has the same path and are at the
same starting line. Some have additional burdens to carry and hurdles to
overcome. But that's okay because when I finally accomplish my goals,
it's a huge middle finger and "fuck you" to those situations and people who
deliberately made life difficult for me.